Nov 042012

Ask him anything: Love advice from our guy guru, Ky Henderson (@kyhenderson)

p52, Cosmo, November 2012

Question from the reader Cosmo response Real guy reacts
“When we first started dating, he cuddled after sex. Now he just goes to sleep. Why? Guys start out on their best behavior, but slip into normal routines. Spot on, Ky. I look forward to the time when it’s “OK” to just get some awesome sleep. Spooning it fraught with dangers – arm falling asleep, waking her up when you need to flop around, trying not to snore in her ear, not being a creepy douche for poking her with your morning wood when she’s trying to sleep.
“My fiancee balks when I bring up wedding planning. Is he having second thoughts?” He’s looking forward to the wedding, the honeymoon sex – just doesn’t want to deal with deciding on the flowers or cake. Make planning fun. It’s a stupid guy joke to say something like “yup, I planned the proposal. The rest is up to her.” And the men in attendance will slap each other on the back. If it were up to the guy, the wedding would be the same as the honeymoon – just the guy and the girl. At the same time, we’d heard how important this wedding day is. We don’t want to screw your day up with our dumb guy opinions. We just want you to be happy.
Dec 292011

During our show, Abe referenced his displeasure of this woman's behavior 

Abe and Pricilla discuss manicure/pedicures, how god conceived jesus, the most insulting term for a woman, how absurd it is to say “Jesus” or “Easter Bunny” as a swear word, events that caused parents to swear, the time Pricilla broke a piece of wood with her fist, parents hanging out getting drunk, long tables suits of armor with visors, marriage plans

Whine Snob recommends using the Stitcher Radio App for iPhone and Android to listen to podcasts. Follow us on twitter at WhineSnobTony! Tune in again next Thursday for more fun.

Smootches, Tony


Helm (or Close Helm)

Editors pick(s): Tony’s comment to Abe “I’m surprised you’re married… to a woman”

Be a life-long learner! 

Heather Terhune (see at right) is a chef on Top Chef by Bravo during Season 9. She is from Chicago, IL. Pricilla hails from the same town.

In the podcast we refer to a helm, but called it “visor” and “helmet”. The metal that covers a knight’s face, and makes him hard to understand, is called a helm. Didn’t know that at all.

Dec 222011

All married couples want $200 cash, not this gift

Registries suck. Before I launch into a tirade, let me be clear that:

  • I place no blame on the soon-to-be-married. I get it – people find it uncomfortable to straight out ask “hey, what could I get you as a wedding present?”
  • a wedding registry is well-organized. The thought of deciding, on their own, what an appropriate/needed gift would be, is intimidating for old people. Maybe newly weds DO want a popcorn popper. The registry is a great way to let others know it’s already been purchased.

A registry is a great opportunity to shower newlyweds with gifts (perhaps $10,000 worth of gifts) that are often beyond the financial reach of a young couple. The crappy result of the registry is that newlyweds end up with a bunch of junk they don’t really need.

The REAL heart of the problem is that the socially acceptable dollar amount for the middle class to spend on a wedding gift ranges between $50-150, and people feel impersonal giving CASH. I have limited social awareness, so I give cash all the time. It has never been refused.

In an effort to give a more “personal” gift, people want to buy something tangible. Since we prefer the easy way out, the following happens:

  • Middle Class American: “Hello?”
  • Williams Sonoma: “Hi, my name is William. May I speak with someone attending the Johnson/Garcia wedding?”
  • MCA: “This is s/he. Is everything OK?”
  • WS: “Oh, everything is fine. I asked Johnson/Garcia for ideas on wedding gifts they want. Then, I listed these items on a website. We’ll remove items as they are purchased – so you know there are no duplicates. Have confidence your wedding present will be exactly what they need.”
  • MCA: “Oh, William, that is WONDERFUL! That’s always an uncomfortable conversation! Wait… this website only lets me buy things from your store – Williams Sonoma.”
  • WS: “Uh. Yes, that’s correct. And let me remind you that this is a list that your friends getting married CREATED. If the product is not on here, they probably don’t want it. Don’t bother looking anywhere else.”
  • MCA: “Oh. OK. Wait… they want $75 dinner plates? William, are you SURE they wouldn’t like season tickets to that comedy club, or 2 tickets to see their favorite team play?”
  • WS: “They didn’t indicate that on the list we provided for them. You run a HUGE risk if you get a different present.”
  • MCA: “Actually, that’s only what your website said. But, I’ll take your word for it. These things are right in that $50-150 range – how convenient!”

Williams Sonoma and Pottery Barn, then Target (for people who have poor friends/family, or at least think their family/friends are poor), have seized this emotional event as an opportunity to present the wedding couple with a buffet of things they don’t even want, but are all in the socially acceptable price range. Couples who get married after 18 years old, already have the crappy version of whatever silverware set, linens, cookware that was requested on a registry.

An Alternative:

Picture the following scenario instead:
1. 200 guests are invited to a wedding. 50% give $100 cash = $10,000.
2. With this money, newlyweds can do any of the following:
REGISTRY: get all the cookware/table settings/linens they could ever want (see previous scenario)
RESPONSIBLE: can pay off loans, pay for some of the wedding, make a down payment on a house.
ENJOYABLE: buy a nice used car, take a cruise, fund some of their honeymoon,

In comparison, the ONLY result of Williams Sonoma registry is a table full of Williams Sonoma things. I don’t actually know people who really buy things from Williams Sonoma, other than during a registry event.

In conclusion:

The cost of this social guilt is that newlyweds end up with lots of junk they will rarely use.

My suggestion: Think outside the box. Try the following:
1. Give money, and write a 1 page letter to both parties, expressing how happy you are for them, and why they mean so much to you.
2. Join forces with 10 friends, ask the couple what $1,000 gift they want, and then go get it for them.

Oh well. No one reading this will take this advice – which will frustrate the hell out of anyone reading this who might get married someday.