Dec 282011
 

Bill Illin' with The "Il"

Kim Jung Il was, by all accounts, a very bad dude. And not like “cool” bad, but “shipping off lots of people to their death for being short” bad. (irony: Kim Jung Il was ~5’3″, if Clinton is about 6’0″)

What is NOT frequently accounted is how TERRIBLE he was at PUTTING! Like Happy Gilmore terrible. According to 17 bodyguards, Mr. Il shot 11 holes-in-one the first time he played golf. Then he never played again. His score?

-38 under par. Assuming this was a par 72 course… He finished his round in an amazing 34 strokes! Wow, I think?  With 11 holes in one? Wait a minute… he must have been a shitty putter! Let’s say he got a hole in one on:

  • 3 out of 4 par 3s (hey, nobody’s perfect – even a guy who doesn’t poop)
  • 7 of the 10 par 4s
  • 1 of the 4 par 5s (remember, the guy is a god. and doesn’t poop)

"I WILL OPPRESS YOU, BALL!" - Mr. Il

Quick math shows that he took 23 strokes on the other 7 holes. Let’s say he double eagles (2 shots) two of the par 5s. That leaves 19 strokes for the other 5 holes – or all pars and one birdie. He must have had 3 and 4 putts per hole! I’m sure the person who made his putter died after that round.