Nov 072012

Cosmo, p75, Nov 2012

“There’s nothing wrong with posting a hot pic of yourself on Instagram or Twitter. But there’s a fine line between sharing and being narcissistic. The key? Show more than just a pretty face… within reason.”

If you’re thinking about sending pics like these to people, just don’t bother. It’s not worth it if the pic gets out.

What? No – bad advice. Selfies gone wrong

If a self picture is sent to your girl friends, I imagine this may be OK. However, if a guy gets a hold of your ‘selfies’, it will be considered slightly self-important or slutty at the very best.

At worst… it could get pretty bad. I’ve heard guys laugh about these pictures in very ruthless ways, giving girl a bad rep or slamming her looks. Of course that’s not fair – but guys never respond to self portraits by saying “she’s cute”, “she’s hot”, “she’s funny/ironic/zany”.


“A selfie is usually accompanied by a kissy face or the individual looking in a direction that is not towards the camera. The typical selfie face involves a peace sign and duck lips.”

duck lips: …kissing faces while they take endless pictures of themselves and post them at various places on the internet. They think it looks really cool, but they actually look like an ugly ass duck. It looks really AWFUL, and makes me wan’t to destroy the internet because so many people are doing it.”


Nov 042012

Ask him anything: Love advice from our guy guru, Ky Henderson (@kyhenderson)

p52, Cosmo, November 2012

Question from the reader Cosmo response Real guy reacts
“When we first started dating, he cuddled after sex. Now he just goes to sleep. Why? Guys start out on their best behavior, but slip into normal routines. Spot on, Ky. I look forward to the time when it’s “OK” to just get some awesome sleep. Spooning it fraught with dangers – arm falling asleep, waking her up when you need to flop around, trying not to snore in her ear, not being a creepy douche for poking her with your morning wood when she’s trying to sleep.
“My fiancee balks when I bring up wedding planning. Is he having second thoughts?” He’s looking forward to the wedding, the honeymoon sex – just doesn’t want to deal with deciding on the flowers or cake. Make planning fun. It’s a stupid guy joke to say something like “yup, I planned the proposal. The rest is up to her.” And the men in attendance will slap each other on the back. If it were up to the guy, the wedding would be the same as the honeymoon – just the guy and the girl. At the same time, we’d heard how important this wedding day is. We don’t want to screw your day up with our dumb guy opinions. We just want you to be happy.
Oct 262012

Cosmo 6 ways to Ace a First Date, p34, November 2012

“Scott Porter reveals simple moves that will leave him dying to go out with you again.”

I suggest a few refinements of his points, but overall, not a bad article with some good thoughts.

Idea Scott Porter says A Real Guy says
Play a little hard to get Don’t call to confirm plans beforehand, you’ll seem too eager. Guys are neutral about this. I like a little flirting beforehand, but the guys say “no confirmation” isn’t an issue. However, that guys like to be confident that his girl has enough information to prepare for the date. It helps if the girl can coach the guy through general questions: what the feel of the restaurant is like, how to get there, etc. We don’t think about that stuff ahead of time.
Show up on time Being prompt is important. If a girl is late, she’s not into the date. Being more than 10 minutes late just seems inconsiderate and impolite. At that point, who cares if she’s into it, she just seems like a jerk. Its an unnecessary bad start to the night.
Talk about yourself It’s very cool if she shares something intimate, it shows security. Plus guys would rather listen to you talk. There’s a fine line between sharing something out of comfort (very good feeling) versus desperate for someone to talk to (very bad feeling). Go easy on the sharing on date one. By date two or three, the rapport is strong enough to “overshare” and it’s not a big deal.
Let him be a man If he wants to open the door or pay for the evening, let him. We want to feel like we can do these things for a woman. Guys absolutely love making their girl happy and comfortable. A big smile and “Thanks!” from a girl I’m into, is the best possible thing in the whole world.
Never fake a laugh Don’t force a laugh or feign interest in what he’s saying. Just be yourself. I disagree with this. Don’t be TOTALLY fake, but a few laughs can really help break the ice, and will lead to more authentic laughs later.
Make the date last longer Suggest hanging out a little longer, coffee or another drink. At that point, it’s cool if she takes charge – spontaneous is sexy. It’s very assuring when a girl suggests hanging out longer. This makes that “Should I kiss this girl?” decision much less daunting.
Oct 212012

What guys notice first: p38 Cosmo, October 2012

“Josh Bowman (@OfficialBowman) pinpoints qualities that men dig in a girl.”

This was OK, but I thought the last two were excellent insights into the male mind.

Quality Josh digs Why Reaction
1. Glancing his way “If she makes eye contact, it’s sexy” Yeah, this is fine. It basically lets us know you’re interested to some degree. This helps shy guys summon the courage to come over and talk.
2. Challenging him “…Stands up for what she believes” This is only good if it’s non-emotional. Tone is huge here, just stating your opinion and not lingering on the topic is a very good thing. “Principled” is good. “Bitchy” is bad. This goes for guys too, right? A guy going ballistic is un-good.
3. Flaunting your bod “Show a little skin… but keep a guy guessing” Guessing? Good news, girls – you can relax. Guys do NOT guess. Guys know what we like, and if we recognize it in sweatpants, a skirt, or tight jeans. I’ve never heard a guy say “Until I got her clothes off, I had no idea what I was dealing with. I was totally surprised.”We will learn about your mood by how much skin is showing, but it won’t make us think you are more or less beautiful.
4. A bold laugh “It shows you are not afraid to joke and laugh at life, and you’re a free spirit.” Laughter is very, very good. Great call, Josh. When a girl is laughing, it’s a big reassurance to guys. Bold/loud laughter doesn’t really have anything to do with it.Girl laughing = cloud nine.Girl not smiling = high maintenance, maybe she’s hard to please.
5. Perfect posture “Shows class and confidence. You want a girl who can carry herself.” Excellent observation! Josh really nailed this one.Good posture suggests confidence and class, but also suggests “good health”. No one looks attractive hunched over.Additionally, it makes your butt stick up, and lifts the chest. These are good things that show good health too – and I know girls who pay a lot of money for underwear that does the same thing.
Oct 182012

Date night dresses guys love – p74 Cosmo, October 2012

“Men voted on outfits they’d want to see you in, and here are the winners (they even beat skinny jeans).”

This is another post in a series to dispute the things that Cosmo says that guys like, but aren’t really very accurate. This article is full of Cosmo crazy talk:

  1. Jeans are better than these dresses
  2. Shoes are listed here. Shoes are the 28th thing about you that guys notice. Wear the shoes to impress your girl friends, not a guy.
Dress Reaction
Cosmo guy says “A black dress is always hot, and the cutouts tell me she’s confident.”Black dresses are very good, and this is a cool looking dress, but I can’t imagine a girl wearing it until date 4. It would be tough to pull off.It’s pretty formal, and you’d have to be crazy hot to pull it off. Stick with the jeans!
Cosmo guy says “This doesn’t look like she’s trying too hard. It’s cute and it’s laid back.The name of this dress from the store is “Ditsy Reader Print Dress w/ Belt”. What kind of name is that?!?This dress is fine. A bit frumpy. Reminds me of a higher cut of my 58yo high school math teacher’s normal wear.

Jeans, please!

Cosmo guy says “Red is sexy and ballsy. It makes me think she’s the spontaneous type.This is a pretty cool dress. Red is hot, for sure. It’s also seems like she’s trying really hard, or maybe she’s fancy and hard to please. Jeans!
Oct 112012

Love advice from guy guru, Ky Henderson (@kyhenderson). p38 Cosmo, October 2012

Question Ky’s answer Real guy’s reaction
“I hate seeing my tummy when I’m on top. Doesn’t he notice it?” He’s mainly noticing your boobs. Also, he’s looking at your face as you climax, you moving up and down on his penis, etc. He’s not noticing your tummy. Ky’s pretty much right. If you have a tummy, we’ve already noticed it, and we’re good with it. The thing we are noticing in bed, is “how awesome/fun/exciting is this sex going to be?”
“I went home with a guy I met at a party. We’re texting, but he’s not asking me out.” He may not think of you as relationship material… his feelings could grow and he’ll want to date you, but it’s unlikely. Text him “I’d really like to hang out sometime… If you’re not into it, I understand, but then I’m going to move on.” This is true. Dating is possible, but unlikely. I like his text suggestion – it’s the opposite of clingy. Non-clingyness is very attractive.
“My fiance calls his family about work promotions before me. Is it fair to demand he give me the big news first?” He’s used to going to them first. It’s fair to ask him to tell you first, but you have to be careful. First, let him know he’s the #1 in your life, and share things with him first, and then let him know you’re calling your family. Then, try “I feel silly, but it would mean so much if I was the first person you came to with major news. It would make me feel like we’re a family now too. I’d advise against this for most people. Asking (demanding??) someone to re-prioritize who they confide in could be considered invasive, and might set things back. Keep sharing YOUR life decisions, be patient, and things may or may not turn around. Find ways to love and accept him anyway. You don’t have to fulfill his every need in order for him to love you.
Oct 072012

Online slideshow from Cosmo on 9/24/2012 titled “Lingerie Men Love”.

This 25-piece showcase of lingerie was a mixed bag. Obviously, at the end of the evening, any of these would be well appreciated. However, some of these I’m going to get excited to see my girl in again. Others… I’m hoping they get lost somewhere under the bed. This would ensure the good ones make it back into the rotation faster.

The Lingerie The Description The reaction
Great, All-American lingerie
Rating: B+
  • This is good stuff.
  • This lingerie emphasizes the girl, not the clothing – no distractions.
  • A little bit see through, like the bow in front.
  • This is the kind of lingerie in which that would be great to watch you make your way around the bedroom.
50’s throwback granny-panties
Rating: D
  • The return of high-waisted garments makes guys panic.
  • Low-rise jeans were a 21st century evolution of awesomeness. Guys love hip bones and belly buttons. Don’t cover it up! High waist fashion just looks awkward.
  • I’m convinced clothing stores are trying to make high-rise stuff come back in style, to
  1. sell more merchandise (since girls just bought low rise clothes), and
  2. piss guys off
White, Lacy, Naughty-ness
Rating: A
  • Like the bra, but love these lacy leggings with garters.
  • Garters are flat-out hot. I wanna tear them off.
  • The white is hot too, because it ‘seems’ pure and makes you pump your brakes, but the overall sexiness makes you hit the gas pedal at the same time.
Timing Piece
Rating: C
  • Love the bra, hate the underwear.
  • If she gave me a strip tease, and she took her shirt off first, I’d be going out of my mind. “Love the red, and little bows, and low cut… YES!”
  • Then off comes her skirt, “YE… s? oh, those are… strangely high… Let’s get those off too, and maybe don’t put them back on. Ever.”
Girlie Dirty
Rating: A
  • Loving these.
  • A little see through, I like the frills. I’d love to kiss that bow.
  • These might get torn off – I’d happily spring for a few new pairs.
Oct 022012

Cosmo “In depth responses to questions you could only ask Cosmo” p204, Sept 2012, by Yvonne Fulbright, PhD.

“Q: My husband recently hinted that his butt cheeks are supersensitive. What should I try?”

“A: First, you have to figure out what kind of touch your hubby is looking for… experiment and gauge his response – heavy breathing, moaning, and tense muscles are all good signs.”

Great call, Doc. Do NOT assume that your guy will share this affinity for cheek play. Any time a guy says some weird shit like this, he’s going out on a limb. Take it slow and maybe you can figure it out.

In the event it turns into a full-blown sex den of bullwhips and cat-o-nine tails, better seek some counseling.

Was that $1 shown in the picture, payment for playing with the cat o’nine tails?


Sep 292012

Cosmo “25 Sex moves he wishes you’d do: We got men to give up the wickedly creative tricks they crave – and they did not hold back.” p196, Sept 2012.

Every guy is different, so I’m sure that some dude out there is dying for something listed in this article to happen to him. My reaction, and the guys I’ve talked to, is as follows:

Category Cosmo idea Real guys react
The Good “When I’m going down on you, put one hand on the back of my head…” This is important. Every girl has her own preferences down there, so it’s great to have your girl get into it, and give some guidance (literally) on how much pressure she likes. Use my head like a joystick – I don’t give a damn.
The Bad “A twist on washing-machine sex… (girl on top). That way I get to experience the vibrations too.” This is a clumsy and frustrating maneuver. Just stick with what works. If your guy is into vibrations on the butt, I’m sure there’s better options out there.
“Cosmo is clearly saying this to fuck with you” “Touch me in 3 different places at once. Stroke my penis, grab my butt, and kiss my nipples. You’ll be like a one-woman threesome.” Do not do this. Guys will either laugh at you, or just patiently count the seconds until the silliness is over. This one might get told to our friends, in a bad way.