Nov 302011
 

Attraction Curve - graphing mental vs physical attraction

I love this graph of relationship potential, mentioned in a blog at FastCompany, and found on a website called ChartPorn.org. The name of that website is funny for enough reasons to justify a blog post on it’s own, but let me focus on the graphic. When I walk through the scenarios captured by this graphic, I think you’ll see the perfection.

DISCLAIMER: All positions on this graphic assume that the person being graphed, enjoys being with YOU. If you are a girl (doubtful – girls hate this blog), accept that this is written from “pig-headed guy” perspective. It’s the only perspective I possess. Keep an open mind – you may still be able to identify with the examples I present.

No mental attraction (not fun), no physical attraction (not hot):

Not fun, not hot people are a painful experience. That is a TRUTH.

Example: waiting for a bus next to an insane, homeless person shouting at at god, and calling him by god’s first name, Frank.

Increasing fun, zero hot:

Rarely fun, zero hot: This can be painful from time to time – (ex. the socially awkward friend).

Always fun, zero hot: “Hmm, my friend Ugly Sasha is sooo fun, maybe we should date?”. When Sasha’s blistering hot sister shows up, you remember how un-good dating Ugly Sasha would be.

Quite fun, and fractionally cute: This is a “work hot” scenario. Things get a little “urge-y” when you’re together for a while, or when drunk. This wears off quickly when you aren’t at happy hour or at work.

Increasing hotness, zero fun:  

Rarely hot, zero fun: You catch a glimpse of the person at the copier, or in dim lighting and they move out of the pain zone, but usually, it hurts.

Always hot, never fun. You can’t stand this person, it’s all about the sex, and might even be “angry sex”. On the far end, you think”Sasha’s blistering hot sister is typically a giant bitch, but she looks awesome when she’s laying there like a dead fish. She’s been less irritating today… maybe we’d be good together?”. Then she kicks your puppy in the face.

Really cute, rarely fun: Awkwardness occurs when one person finally realizes they’ve always wanted something more. Also known as the “shotgun wedding”.

Increasing hotness, Increasing fun:

Rarely hot, rarely fun: Never painful, you can always tolerate these people.

Sorta hot, sorta fun: You definitely date this person. Everyone’s happy for a while. You may discover unacceptable pockets of “not-hot” or “not-fun”, which causes you break up. Example: they have sex with both your parents, without your consent, and without you. Or, you were tricked by careful clothing selection or how they made a last-ditch effort in personal hygiene that can’t be maintained. Example: Spanks/Padded/Water/Underwire bras/the one tailored shirt/pants, or unwilling to shave(anywhere)/shower/brush teeth.

Quite hot, quite fun: Wedding bells.

Top-score hot, maximum fun: Doesn’t exist. People who are really fun, lead a lifestyle that does not lead to a chiseled frame. People who are very good looking, do not need to put in the effort to be really fun, or they’re not seeking the “equipment” your sex can bring to the table.

Now what?

Someone has proposed ranking everyone you know on this spectrum. While personally I feel icky considering this level of judgment, I would not judge anyone else for engaging in such an exercise.

Ladies, if you are still reading, I invite your perspective on this. What do you think? Does this apply for both sexes?