Apr 252013

Wait. Is this soda, or alcohol?

I drank most of a 6pk of Mikes Hard Lemonade this week. I take solace in the fact that I’m still a man, because I didn’t buy it – my roommate did. On the other hand, I’m a coward, a thief, and an alcoholic, because I’m only drinking it alone.

A friend of mine once drank this beverage stridently… defiantly… in spite of the ridicule being heaped on him as he hammered down this girlie drink. In response to why he drank is, he merely replied in contented tone “Sht’s good, man.”

How do you argue with that? At 5% alcohol, he was definitely getting drunk. It’s hard to pick on someone, when they seem so happy doing something. It’s even harder when you become jealous that you aren’t doing that thing you ridiculed.

By the way, he wasn’t lying. The stuff IS good. That’s because the sugar content is so high. It is essentially pink maple syrup with a screw top bottle.

My teeth are rotting out of my head, owing thanks to awful Welsh/Irish heritage. I shudder to think what happened when cousins snuggled around the fire in Northern Europe on cold nights. It did not help the diversity of my family’s gene pool. For this reason, I typically avoid sugars, so my teeth don’t get mushier any faster than their basal rate.



This ain’t your Daddy’s breakfast drink

Upon looking up the nutritional data, I see that Mikes Harder Lemonade has friggin 390 calories. That’s insane. I think most fast food hamburgers only have like 250 calories.

I also see that the website has offered to add this drink to a food diary. Since it was slotted for “Breakfast”, the website thinks (knows) I have a drinking problem. But, what they DON’T know, is that I drank more than 1 “can” for breakfast. Suckers.


 Posted by at 3:25 pm