Dec 272011
 

A rose by any other name would smell like A THROWING STAR!!!

Ron Artest is a good basketball player. Metta World Peace is a figment of the imagination, and does not exist. I had to tune in to ESPN today to see what they were calling Ron Artest, who changed his name on 9/16/2011 from Ron Artest to “Metta World Peace”.

Sure enough, announcers ACTUALLY SAY “World Peace” when passing and scoring. Kings Lakers 12-26-2011

If I were an announcer, I would just continue calling him Artest. What if the man changed his name to “Antidisestablishmentarianism” or “FuckTony”? I’m not saying those words. His name is Ron. Mine is Tony. His name doesn’t change. Mine doesn’t either.

OK, Chad Johnson changed his name to Chad OchoCinco. At least that was kinda funny/ridiculous.

And Prince changed his name to a symbol because his recording label wouldn’t let him use his name.

And Sean Combes – whom I respect on screen as a fun actor- please figure out a name

  • Puff Daddy? that’s dumb, but whatever.
  • P. Diddy? Wow you now sound like an arrogant prick, to the untrained ear
  • Diddy? Seriously? “Diddy”? You made a conscious decision for people to call you Diddy. Sean, that sounds like a name that a bully calls you in an attempt to mock your real name.)

Why not just do a nickname?

  • “Hey there, my name is Sean Combes, but people have been calling me DoubleDip lately.”
  • “Cool man, good to meet you. My name is Alabaster CreamPie, but people call me Tony.”

I have no problem with the words Metta (loving kindness) and World Peace sounds great too. I just can’t see changing your name just to fuck with people. After all, the man didn’t even show up in court to get the name changed himself, it can’t be that serious to him. It’s just stupid. And I don’t honor stupid things. Like speed limits, or social graces. Both are soundly ignored.

Perhaps he’s not to blame. Artest seems to be insane, or has a very strange sense of humor: (click here for a video of the interview)

And I was just like, wow, what if I lost my teeth, like, today? And I’m 32. You know? And then my new teeth would grow back in. You know? I was just thinking about that. And I was like, that’s really pretty brilliant; he actually thought about like people’s image and, you know, persona and things like that. ‘Cause you would be pretty ugly with no teeth at the age of 20, 18, you know? So not only did he build the world in seven days, seven nights, he also said, OK, let them lose their teeth early, rather than late.

Oh well. I hope you find contentment, Mr. Artest. THAT is my metta for you.

-Tony